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Cell Phone Service Under NYC: A Coarse Opinion, Suggestion
[August 25, 2005]

Cell Phone Service Under NYC: A Coarse Opinion, Suggestion


By DAVID R. BUTCHER, Assistant Editor, Customer Interaction Solutions
 
New York City’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA) is seeking proposals from companies to provide cell phone service to New York City’s 277 underground subway stations, some of which now get sporadic cell service.


 
An ad in today’s Wall Street Journal requested proposals. 

 
According to MTA documents, coverage would not extend into the tunnels but would include all platforms, mezzanines and pedestrian platforms. Straphangers would not be able to make calls from inside the subway cars while between stations.
 
Say the critics: “We’re concerned about loud cell phone users or terrorists using a phone to trigger a bomb in the subway.”
 
Said MTA spokesman Tom Kelly: “As far as cell phones in the subway system, on balance, I'm for it. I think if it makes sense, you know, if you see something suspicious, you want people to be able to report it, you need the means to do that."
 
Say I: “This just sucks.”
 
It’s as if the MTA is going out of its way to create, advocate, endorse and generally promote annoyances. According to a recent survey by global market research firm Synovate, 68 percent of the U.S population sees the poorest etiquette with technology among cell phone users.
 
Although inconsiderate cell phone users annoy the hell out of me, I don’t actually wish for those on the train’s platform to be mangled beneath an oncoming subway train; so, should this service become available, platform-waiters should be careful they do not drop their phone upon the tracks — it wouldn’t be the first time — as they sprint to catch the train or as they’re nudged by a packed-full platform of others waiting (it already happens frequently, even without underground cell phone service).
 
As a preemptive to such an occurrence taking place, all riders should be prepared via having an idea as to precisely how long it takes between: 1) dropping the phone (or any other piece of personal property) onto the typically five-feet-deep track(s); 2) at the same moment swiftly glancing to the oncoming direction; 3) rappelling or feet-first diving down to the tracks; 4a) reaching down for the swooping pickup; 4b) while out of the corner of your eye continually scanning any potentially forthcoming train; and finally 5) making your Matrix-style leap back to platform level.
 
(The above, step-by-step procedural precaution is dependent on a number of personal variables, so the overall time of action will differ from person to person: height, weight, jumping skills, assistance from fellow on-platform straphangers, on-hand availability of spelunking gear or a cape, etc., etc.)
 
Come to think of it, all straphangers should have this self-knowledge, even if underground cell phone service doesn’t come to fruition in the near future. NYC-subway-related deaths are more common than you may think (see links throughout the above preparatory outline) — so much so that the MTA actually has notices in different languages saying not to retrieve things from the tracks.
 
New York’s isn’t the first underground public-transportation system to propose such a service; London already has detailed plans
 
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David R. Butcher is Assistant Editor of Customer Interaction Solutions. To see more articles by David Butcher, please visit:
  

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