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Psychic Says She Can Replace Your CRM
TMCnet Contributing Editor
Just thought you'd like to be aware of the following:
Rida H. Schenck, who styles herself "a former engineer and forecasting expert," would like you to know about her new process on the market known as "Sub-Conscious Mirroring" that, in her words, has "enabled a sales agent or a realtor or business broker to be able to predict in real-time what one of his/her customers located hundreds of miles away and on the phone would choose -- without needing to ask any questions, and without having to do some sort of preliminary investigation or research with the support of dynamic CRM applications."
Throw away the ol' CRM technology and simply put a crystal ball on the table. Imagine the overhead savings.
"Traditionally, we are used to producing technology that operates on external media and data," Schenck says. "The Sub-Conscious Mirroring process is revolutionary because it is the framework methodology for the practical design of mind-sensitive technology that delivers pictures, sound and other functionality driven solely by emotion, instantly and accurately. " And anybody who has any idea what the hell that means please enlighten us.
You might know Schenck -- at $17 a minute -- as Lady Campbell of San Francisco, your "Total Psychic Technology, for Profit, Protection and Prosperity." And hey, if you thought she was unqualified for this sort of thing, on her site she claims to have Certification Levels I - III from the Therapeutic Touch Nursing Association. So there, Mr. Harvard MBA, joke's on you.
Were Schenck to describe this to "a 10-year old," she says, "I would tell him/her that this is simply a process that helps companies get their sales staff to solve the mystery and guesswork behind what an unknown customer or prospect wants and needs, and to start designing technology and supporting customer-relationship management applications that can tap into the new insights that Sub-Conscious Mirroring brings."
Oracles4Business -- Mr. Ellison's lawyers reach for the phone -- first "discovered" the process as part of its consulting services, Schenck claims: "Recently it was posted 'for sale' and offered to those that were looking for multi-billion dollar opportunities to inevitably re-think and replace the standard thinking in methods used by existing computer giants, Microsoft (News - Alert) included.
Poor Microsoft. First Linux, now Lady Campbell of San Francisco. They just get it from all sides, don't they?
Applications for this, ah, process encompass a wide range, from enhancement of existing CRM-software to the design of human-sensitive television sets, music systems and more, according to the self-described "Provocative, Unique and Mindblowing" Schenck: "In my opinion, this is an educational process. It would take an average sales agent 10 seconds after receiving a phone call or a visit from a potential customer to be able to predict what sort of end-result the deal is going to be."
And with effective real-time accuracy demonstrated over and over again, "people will get used to the idea that a sales agent is going to be able to know what they prefer or will prioritize, and they will come to expect it the minute they make contact with them," says Schenck, who says she "loves to offer services on a deeply personal and intimate level of knowledge-disclosure and with true affection."
The Sub-Conscious Mirroring process as it is offered for sale includes three essential programs which lead the transition from introduction and hands-on demonstration to full-fledged licensed distribution of corporate customization and business re-engineering, Schenck says.
Anyway. Thought you'd like to know.
David Sims is a contributing editor for TMCnet. For more articles please visit David Sims’ columnist page.
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